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Mattooo

Pizza Place

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Matt's Current Jobs: Idol (in progress), private chef, waiter, personal bodyguard, FNAF janitor, pizza boxer, delivery boy, burger employee, Italian mafia, mad scientist, absent/part time father, looksmaxxer, professional homewrecker, licensed doctor, surgeon and nurse, (former HS student council) and ongoing !! (Please send more job offers I need the money.. )Info On Matt & AUs:
Matt cuts the pizza slices unevenly, and so the slices of pizza starts a Chuck E Cheese parallel controversy at Work At A Pizza Place. Matt is the reason why the chefs have a roach problem (he secretly sneaks in bugs to make the other chefs look bad, how he isn't fired is a miracle). If you were to order pizza at 3 am he would probably eat the entire thing, come up to your door, show the empty box, throw the money at you and leave. Despite being an asshole, Matt is a great and supportive friend, often making conversation whether it is important or not. He also orders for his friends and helps them with whatever troubles they have, or anything they need, often sacrificing his delivery pizzas for his friends to have and getting in trouble after. (How you become friends with Matt is a mystery). Matt is rude and snarky to people he doesn't like, which is most, but he puts on a flirty mask whenever he's bored, and messes with girls for fun. (Actual attention span of 3 seconds, hop off tiktok..) He gets bored very easily, and so he shakes up the cans of soda at his work so that it explodes on the customer when they open it. All of Matt's money goes to his taxes and funds for his science laboratory, which is why he has 20 million jobs and why his kids starve. (sometimes he has kids in rp). He will burn your house down if you don't pay for your pizza, but he rarely delivers it on time for you to pay anyways.. (30 minute delivery or your money back!) Despite him messing with girls "romantically", he REALLY doesn't like them and wants to see if they'd actually cheat with him. (He finds it insane how disloyal some girls can be, and finds it humorous.) Most of these girls are Miles' gfs, Miles pays Matt 20 bucks for a loyalty test.. Matt canonically doesn't have a bf, as he is still closeted, but he can/is more open ab his sexuality in other AU's and roleplays (these events are not canon). Matt was originally a brookhaven male character made to troll girls with his moots in following, above ^^ .Matt became a real OC since his actions in game made me see life in his character. (idk how don't ask I'm weird.) Matt has a resting bitch face/slight smirk on his face, and it tends to piss people off. Matt listens to every genre of pop, rock, and most surprisingly, upbeat and cutesy music, despite his off-putting but charismatic aura. (it's the alpha pheromones and plot armor.) He always tend to have a flirtatious smirk on his face, but as soon as he reveals his true colors, that smirk looks extremely punchable. Matt has an IQ of 180, but does not use this to his advantage, as he does not gaf, and sometimes just uses his brain on autopilot. Aoi is Matt's friend, but how they became friends is something we'll never know. (I made them friends shh..) Matt has tried to learn archery, but shot Aoi in the leg instead, ripping his jeans. (Aoi has multiple pant rips for different reasons, this was just one of them). Matt is canonically strong, as he works as a bodyguard for Miles. He is also extremely skilled at driving, he's also able to drive backwards too! Matt hates relationships, as he doesn't really care about worrying about relationships, and finds it fun to ruin others. Matt surprisingly takes care of his skin and lips, which is a surprise to everyone. Matt has a pizza tattoo on his left ankle. It's hidden behind his sock. Matt is very good at guitar, and loves music, he's always listening to his favorite songs playing, and loves to create music in his free time. Matt's favorite soda is Sprite, Spreet, or any lemon-lime soda. Matt likes raspberry flavored sodas for no particular reason. He is a K-pop idol, despite not being Korean. He learned the language via Google translate, and so he sounds stupid when he speaks. Despite this, his vocals are very good, and he is amazing at kareoke. (Too bad he hasn't been shown in BTS yet (he's secretly the 8th member of BTS)) <-- inside jokeMatt's voice is boyish, but very soft and gentle when speaking in his normal tone, although his words aren't as nice. When Matt plays Roblox, he screams in VC and gets banned in 5 minutes or less when playing. Matt "bullied" kids in elementary school and still bullies kids at his grown age. (Stupid nicknames and academically flexing on people is just being annoying Matt...) Matt cannot smoke, as he starts to have an asthma attack and he hates the taste, but hates fakes cigarettes even more. When he drinks, he turns as red as a pepperoni. Theoretically, if Matt were to ever fall in love, he'd be an pretty good bf, but karma would punish him then, as he is doomed to never be happy, so he ruins other's love lives instead. During Valentine's Day, he breaks up other couples out of spite. He is the other man. He starts Twitter arguments for fun during work. He also puts hot sauce on people's pizzas if they are rude to him (he was probably rude first). Matt only works his pizza job because it comes with free pizza, dental insurance, and retirement benefits. (The money he "makes" is used to pay off all the pizzas he delivers late). Matt's favorite food is "vegan sandwiches", but what's in them is a mystery. Are sandwiches even vegan? Matt isn't vegan, on the contrary, he hates them, and he hates salads too, but these sandwiches are his favorite food, why?? He likes to share his sandwiches to Sana, which depending on the situation, is his daughter/niece/non-related. (It's confusing ik.) Sana and Matt are not related by blood at all. Matt owns 1 house, which is run down and barely has any room, but he also owns a private laboratory, for important purposes, of course! (Nothing illegal or scary pfft what!) It doesn't have any beds though, but if you count the surgical table, maybe? Jay, Sana and Matt live in his crappy, nasty apartment, as it's basically falling apart and molding, and they even have a rat living in the kitchen walls. (His name is Tyler.) Despite this, even though there is rust and dirt, Sana's stuff is new and basically untouched. (Child favoritism much Matt..)Matt loves taking selfies and photos of what's happening, but Sana usually gets the best shots. (She's a photographer queen!) Matt rides a motorcycle around, and it's red, with Sana's stickers stuck all over it, but he doesn't find it a nuisance. He also has a moped for work, which also has Sana's stickers on it as well. The stickers were so cute, he got them laminated so that they'd stay forever. Matt can't sleep well, and when he does, he has nightmares where black Freddy kills Sana while Jay, Matt and her are on an evil car trip. (inside ref shh...) Matt has a horrible fear of Freddy whenever he's cleaning up the pizza place, as it reminds him of his janitor job at another pizza place for 5 nights. Matt's favorite hand sanitizer scent is Strawberry Sparkles (in the triangle bottle shape). He also loves sparkly things, he won't admit it but he LOVES glitter. Matt is a black-orange cat person personality wise, but loves dogs. His favorite ice-cream flavor is rainbow sherbet but he also loves orange creamsicles. Sana loves eating Scribblers Crayon popsicles, so Matt always has a box in his fridge, but Jay always tries to eat them all. Every dinner is either old pizza or vegan vegetable organic soup, I don't know why. For breakfast, Matt has a glass of milk and 2 cans of Red RedBull (Watermelon flavor, yum!), for lunch he has a vegan sandwich with sprite, but if he's on vacation he'll have a fried chicken platter with salad. (Don't ask why I'm so particular with these weird foods for him.) He packs Sana and Jay's lunches, Sana gets a sandwich with fruit juice and Jay gets old pizza and a old expired Kool-Aid pouch. Matt is actually very good at cooking, as sometimes he works as a private chef, but he is too lazy to meal prep at home. Matt's specialty dish is either his World-Famous Margherita Matt pizza topped with a sprig of fresh basil, or his sausage and spinach stuffed Calzone, with melty parmesan inside. He also loves to make a delicious Bún Bò Huế, but his clients don't order it much. (Viet pride!!) Matt can also bake delicious cookies and desserts, but Jay typically eats them all before anyone has a chance to try them.. Miles rarely comes over to the apartment, but when he does, he has to sleep on the couch and does not enjoy the food or the place, but he only does it because Matt is his homie. (Someone free Miles from that dump..) Matt often crashes at Miles's place instead, as it's more convenient than his own place. (I wonder WHY..) He's the cool uncle type vibe when he's around there and takes everyone out to fun trips and places, lets them ditch school because he's just cool and chill like that. Miles doesn't like that and gets mad at Matt pretty often, but NOBODY wants to read a book at the beach..Matt doesn't have any developed parents, but his mom used to cut his hair when he was young, and always ended up with a bowl cut. He would develop a fear of cutting his hair at salons and his mother, so he cuts it himself (somehow). His parents would have high expectations for him, and he would achieve that easily, but Matt would be quite cold towards them because that's all they cared about. Matt got his looks from his mother, personality from his father, homophobia from both and the queerness from none. Matt never opened up to his parents and when he turned 18, he would move out to the apartment he lives at today (he moved out because he couldn't stand them anymore, and the parents exist for the plot only to fade into oblivion afterwards..) The music that plays in Matt's headphones changed over time, he listened to 2000's pop, the repetitive songs that you heard on the radio to kawaii pop and rock (insane switch lil bro). His co-workers develop crushes on him just for them to be shattered by how he acts and how he rejects them, hard. His flirty demeanor makes them catch feelings and it's almost as if he's doing it on purpose for fun?! (he is..) It's gotten so bad that new workers are warned beforehand by other employees to beware. (They will fall for it no matter what..)Matt, despite his intimidating and cold personality towards others at times, loves receiving flowers as gifts. Camellias, one of his personal favorites, have a very deep meaning of romantic love, devotion, adoration and care. It's ironic because he doesn't show that trait for his "lovers", but only for his friends and dear ones. Except the romantic part.. The deep red hues of the flowers also resemble him as well. He also loves roses and tulips! His love language is definitely not gift giving because he would put no effort into getting you flowers.. When he was younger, he dreamt of being a florist one time, but totally forgot about it after he accidentally overwatered a cactus. (They're super easy to take care of but he STILL messed up..) Matt smells like sweet cherries, and goes to Bath & Body Works often. (If he was caught lacking there he would run away crying..) The cactus that he has had for years in his house is still withering away, but not dead, not yet at least.. He buys fake flowers for decorations but they still die somehow. Matt wears lots of clothes, usually those that are for his work, (EX: pizza boy uniform, chef uniform, waiter fit, bodyguard tux matching the color scheme..), but when he is wearing casual clothing, he looks like a UNIQLO mannequin. (He can dress well, he just chooses to put in minimal effort in looking unique at times..) (I'm too lazy to draw LOL) Matt's go to breakfast whenever he's out is a black coffee, (no sugar or milk, please..), a butter croissant topped with blueberry jam and cinnamon sugar sprinkled on top. (You can tell I was hungry editing this..) Whenever Matt is out without a hat, he is immediately chased by a stampede of girls, oh jeez... When a new album comes out, he never pulls his own photocard, no matter how many albums he buys. Matt can sign anything with his eyes closed, but, well... I never said it would look good???Matt and Miles are best friends, but they get into fights often. Even though they have their "arguments", as Miles is seen as the stricter, less cool and neglectful parent but in reality, he does care about his kids, Miles just really sucks at taking care of them, making his girlfriends do the work and just throwing money at the problem as the solution, while Matt is more the chill, laid-back and cool uncle/ parent / friend, but he really does suck more than Miles when it comes to his smaller details, and is generally a little worrying to be trusting your kids to. Despite their little tussles, they are the best of bros, often hanging out with each other, going to the beach to just play truth or dare. Matt and Jay are bros as well, but Jay lives with him too much for him to be his favorite person to hang out with. Matt would go insane if he HAD to stay with him even on his free days, the amount of cooking and cleaning, existing near Jay drives him almost insane. Despite this, Matt does care about Jay, and is close to him, just, sometimes he needs some space. I mean the guy is living with him after all. It's time for Jay to get a job. (Matt and Jay are BOTH in debt, just Jay is making it worse for him as he rents out lavish things and takes out lots of loans...) Jay's hair is always so messy, even when Matt brushes it out, and it always ends up looking like a mess. Jay likes to collect random things in his room, which annoys him, but Matt will go shopping and still pick out something small that Jay would love (he loves it every time but hides his excitement.) Matt and Sana are chill with each other, as Sana is Matt's favorite child no matter what. They share sandwiches with each other and Matt takes care of her often, whether he's her dad or uncle or even a random guy. They sing karaoke together and share their love of BTS (they are bts trust me) with each other. Matt and Sally aren't as close, as they are friends by association. Sally is always hitting on him, flirting every second, and it drives him insane. She's the pick me girl of the group, and Matt flames her so often that she might just be oblivious to it. He's surprised she's still trying to even try with him, as Matt finds Sally quite humorous. When all of them play UNO, Matt cheats and hides the cards, any means necessary.. The whole gang together just means that some chaos is about to ensue..Mad Scientist Matt: Just Matt but whenever he has free time, and he sees a kid who's being a little distasteful, he will try to turn them into an SCP. Since he owns a private science laboratory, taxes and expenses are through the roof, which is the reason why Matt has so many jobs in the first place. Mad scientist Matt is not a different character, it's just whenever he's off work and he decides to hate some kids on a whim. He kidnaps kids in his white van or shows up to your house because your parents hired him to get rid of you because you suck.. People describe the lab to smell like heavy lemon and mint scented cleanser. Maybe this is what Matt uses his IQ on? That's a little messed up Matt :(Matt School RPS: Matt is 18 when he is rping in any school related rps (bc being 21 in HS is WEIRD.....), Matt has never had any school crushes, and sticks to being alone, but somehow still finds himself surrounded by girls that would do anything for his attention, doing his homework (he can do it himself perfectly fine) and doing his random tasks he gives them. The school uniform doesn’t allow hats, but it’s seems Matt was just born with helmet hair… His headphones are always on his head, whether he’s at school or in the shower, he can hear anyone through them, despite blasting music, he just chooses to ignore people if he wants to. Matt canonically has every degree known to man, which is why he can have almost any job out there.ooo

Pressure AU Matt:
Matt: he/him 21
Height: 5’11 Weight: 68kg
April 1st, 2003
Urbanshade Technician/Prisoner
Characteristics: Known as a flirtatious guy with good looks, behind all the charm and corny jokes, Matt is quite backhanded, snarky, rude and quick-witted. He gets bored easily, and loves to mess with people. Despite having a 180 IQ, he doesn’t use smarts for much, rather acting on impulse, or the spur of the moment. At the Urbanshade facility, Matt’s uniform consists of the standard tech jumpsuit, oxygen tank (In case of any underwater repairs.), and an employee ID. Matt is always seen with his headphones (which is perfect for playing music while repairing things, although it hinders his hearing when on the lookout for anglers..), a toolbelt, a strap knife (in case of any danger), and goggles. (Gotta protect his eyes from any flying sparks!) His hair is jet black, and his eyes are dark, with a glimmer of light. Is he sane? Probably not. Under the calm exterior hidden behind his sly smirk, there’s someone who can’t just wait to do something much more fun! And less boring than fixing wires…Lore: As he struggled to pay off his debt, despite the vast amount of jobs he had taken, there seemed to be no hope getting rid of those zeros that never seemed to end. Zeros mean nothing, but in this case, Matt owed everything he had, and everything he didn’t to pay back to the bank. Feeling desperate, he looked through LinkedIn, Indeed, Glassdoor, you name it. Every obscure search led to another, until he stumbled upon a job listing on Craigslist. “Technician Wanted! Urgent!!! Must have experience diving!” What type of job was this?! The pay was decent, it was based on commission, and came with company, paid meals, and free Wi-Fi (depending if you were in radius, may or may not be tracking all of your activity), it seemed almost too good to be true! Dropping the résumé in the dropbox, he waited for a response, and quickly got an interview. With his pretty face and charismatic words, he got the job easily, after filling out load of paperwork, signing lots of contracts, he was told he wasn’t going to be on the surface for a very, very long time…“This job was probably a bit underground, not a big deal, I’m not claustrophobic or anything!”It was a big, very deep into the sea deal.. Urbanshade? Never heard of anything like this under the water. He didn’t even know how he got there, but the ride was definitely long… A short training segment, and he was off with a squadron of technicians, most seemed quite new to the place.. Matt tried to make conversation with them, but they seem to ignore him and just followed orders, mouth shut. Something was off about this place… After being here for a short while, Matt noticed some odd things, like guardsmen with gills, prisoners being taken, never to be seen again… The PA would always play weird warnings and precautions, report if you see something moving in the walls?? Avoid lockers with breathing noises and weird puddles dripping about? “ Whatever, as long as I’m doing my job everything will be fine!”Not being able to communicate with the squad lead to a big problem, basic understanding. On one faithful day, Matt was tasked with a simple job. Help technicians with basic repairs to the fuse box and drain the water that had flooded the maintenance room and that was it for the day. As he hauled his tools and started to get to work, his coworkers got to draining the water. While they did that, Matt turned on the power, to figure out what the issue was, he had fixed most of the faulty wiring! Except one main wire that led straight into the water…“ You killed 13 of your coworkers?!! And that was an ACCIDENT??” The leading warden exclaimed.“ Well… how was I supposed to know that they would go into hazardous water with NO protective gear? THEY WOULDN’T EVEN TALK TO ME!” Matt sighed. “ I guess it’s my fault, but your uniforms are a walking disaster. Where’s the protection?”“ God… just, shut up! You’re looking at life in prison, with no parole, you know that?”The warden heard whispers of the female guardsmen, pleading in his ear. “Make it 50 years, with parole… But that’s the best you’re going to get. you’re being charged with accidental manslaughter and damage to private property! Now take him to the prisoners facility…"“Miles is so gonna kill me… Jay, this place fucking sucks, I can’t believe I got fired!” Matt groaned, as Jay shoved another spoonful of pale gray slop into his mouth.“I dunno, the food here isn’t the worst, better than veggie soup…” Jay gestured to the plain, lackluster blob on his plate. Matt shuddered at the sight.“Dude I’m getting out of here, the Internet sucks, they could totally see what I do! And that got taken away after I was fired… I miss my reels and TikTok!”“Right, good luck with that! Hey, are you gonna finish your-…?” Jay motioned to Matt’s plate. He slid it over and Jay dug in for seconds.“Okay, watch me,” Matt walked up to the female, guardsman, the same one who talked to the warden. Her gills protruded from her neck, she scouted for any suspicious activity among the prisoners.
“Hey, you were the one who helped me out there, thanks…” He glanced at her name tag, “Auponia.” She blushed, as Matt looked into her eyes, she had very pretty hazel eyes. It reminded him of a clownfish. Actually, she kinda looked like a clownfish, with the slightly orange skin, rippled with black and white patterns, it almost looked like the scales of a sea creature..“ Oh… It’s nothing, I just…” Auponia’s words trailed off, as she tried to fight off what she was feeling. “ You know my name?”“Erm… yea, I overheard one of the girls calling you,” He lied, “It’s a really pretty name, Auponia..” He smiled warmly at her, her face getting hot. “This sounds like a lot to ask, but you don’t happen to have a spare ID… or have mine?”Matt’s eyes met hers, as he innocuously stared. “It’s okay if not, I get it..””I.. um… I just so happened to get your ID after the warden left it on his desk. God Auponia you’re in so much trouble..!” She whispered.. “ Here, just don’t tell anyone.”
Matt grabbed the ID, his devilishly handsome face staring back at him. “Thanks Aupi, this means a lot~!” An alarm, started blaring, as doors started closing, amidst the chaos, the PA guy’s feedback started playing..“Attention, all personnel, please evacuate to a safe place, the whole site is on lockdown… I repeat..”Matt sprinted among the chaos, as prisoners were being escorted into their cells and guards are rushed to calm down the crowd, he slipped into one of the employee rooms..“ Fuck, I am so much trouble…” Auponia grumbled… “Aupi? Did he just call me AUPI??”Skills: Cooking, cleaning, combat, he’s an every trick pony!!
Fun facts: If Matt wasn’t a technician, he would’ve been a lazy researcher, who would’ve been hated among his colleagues.
Auponia wouldn’t have been caught taking Matt’s ID, as I HC the warden being a corrupt man doing not so nice things in his office, which he wouldn’t like being recorded, which meant she could get away without being caught :3
Matt would die in the let-vand zone by himself, he wouldn’t be able to manage without a companion.
Matt misses the food and wifi more than the freedom after being fired, he dreams about the burgers from the cafeteria. He most definitely ate lunch by himself. (His coworkers avoided him like the plague, as being there by himself would bring out the more talkative side out of him, which greatly annoyed them.)
Auponia would never see Matt again, her only purpose in the story is to get Matt his ID, but she would still have a crush on him even after. Her personality is meant to be reserved and cool. She is a hybrid of a clownfish, after undergoing the gills modification, one of the researchers had added clownfish dna to her procedure, as his own words, “She wasn’t funny enough, so maybe this would help!”
I’ll add more fun facts later yea :D
During Matt’s time as a prisoner.. (Short Story)
Matt: So you’re telling me after I get fired, I still have to do my job, just in a more dangerous location with none of the benefits?!
Warden: Yep! Says here in the paperwork… You’ll get to keep your tools and whatever, anyways, I need you to repair some of the power cables outside!
Matt: In the water? With the SEARCHLIGHTS? Are you joking? I better get to have a burger after this, I'm starving.. Ooh just imagine a double patty-..
Warden: Well get moving! Those cables aren’t going to fix themselves!In the locker room…Matt: So.. fellas.. are you ready to repair some cables?!
Prisoner 1: …
Prisoner 2: dry cough …
Matt: Tough crowd.. Well... Okay then! Watch out for the trenchbleeders!Out In The ZoneMatt: God I hate the ocean.. it’s so wet…
Prisoner 1: .. you think?
Matt: God I fucking hate these guys.. boring much? I hope they get electrocuted..As all 3 of them repair cables while avoiding the searchlightsMatt: Second to last one… hey dude?? Watch-
Prisoner 1 shocks himself accidentally, and gets caught by the searchlight in the processMatt: He totally deserved it.. just saying.Matt and Prisoner 2 finish up the job, not saying a word to each other, as they head back to the facility..In the locker room:Prisoner 2: You killed him. I know it, you're the reason why Liam died!Matt: What are you talking about? I didn’t even touch him, if anything, if he was listening to me, he wouldn’t have died.Prisoner 2: You knew that the cable was a risky fix! Leaving it for him to do and knowing he sucked at the job got him killed! It was all your fault…Matt: hiding a slight smile I never knew he was bad at the job… if anything, the death is on your hands? You knew him better than I did, it sounds like you could’ve prevented this easily? Wasn't he your friend?Prisoner 2: God.. Liam I’m sorry.. I was so stupid to.. I.. I didn't mean... I’m going to be sick! I can’t do this anymore!
he runs out of the room, as a sound of a locker being forced open can be heard in the far distance, a quick scream could be heard before the locker snaps shut, the sounds of banging heard for a few minutes, and then silence..Matt: HQ to Squadron 5, two men down, only one operative is coming back, and can you fix me a double cheeseburger, hold the tomato? over..

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Matt's thoughts on everyone !!

Matt about Aoi: "Oh Aoi? He's like totally cool, he covers my shifts all the time! All I have to do is give him some pizza fresh from the oven, and he'll help me out in a jiffy. He's almost like a bestie to me.. that sounds a bit gay...
You never see us together?! Well.. he has day shifts only, I'm always busy y'know, with all my jobs, but when we hang out, it's a BLAST! Aoi knows all the nice places to eat, and he always pays! Plus, he's a great wingman. He even reminds me of all the girls' names I've forgotten!!
We used to eat lunch and study together in high school.. (Aoi needed Matt to help study, Matt doesn't study (but is the top of his classes?!?!?!?!)) I used to split a vegan sandwich with him when he was still hungry, what an eater.. I don't mind though, I prefer being on a light stomach, got to keep my figure if you know what I mean?! Aoi is awesome though.. if you're reading this, can you cover Friday closing shift for me? I gotta babysit Jay and Sana!!!"

Aoi About Matt: "Matt? He's so awesome! I remember when everyone used to be head over heels in love with him back in school, but I guess they still are.. But man can he cook! His best grades were always in Home Ec, but to be fair, he had perfect scores in every class.. He's the reason why I passed math after all!
I wish we hung out more, even though I see him at work.. He always gets me a loaded sausage pizza, with extra sauce, and all I have to do is help him a bit! Matt is almost always late to his orders, I wouldn't want him to get fired.. Work is boring without him! Did you know Matt has the world record for most cold pizzas delivered, gross! I hate cold pizza...
His house/apartment/lab might always be a mess, and he's a little ran through, but despite that, he's my best friend! He's a nice guy once you get to know him! How did we become friends..? I don't know, it was like we were meant to be friends... He's a little mean sometimes, and a bit backhanded, but that's just how he is. Despite that, I know he cares about his friends and I, he's just a little dumb sometimes, and I'm apparently the dumb one! PS: I'll do the shift if we go watch the new Minions movie, and you make veggie soup on Sunday !! :3"

Matt about Jay: "How do I feel about Jay? Tell him to do his own laundry for once, and apps for a job already! He’s a homie, but god, I get exhausted living with him. He clogs the toilet 24/7, and who has to fix it? Me!! Do I LOOK like Mario to you?? Anyways, have you been in his room?! It’s so cluttered with wannabe emo stuff.. he’s totally a poser.
I pack his lunch, drive him to school, tell him to stop playing games and pay off his debt already! He’s late on rent payments, but he’s always buying new things, like renting a whole ass beach house, and an ice cream truck?? How the hell does he get the money??? In any case, he’s an awful wingman too.. he fumbles like he has freaking BUTTERFINGERS!
Jay is always eating everything in the fridge, I have to buy those AliExpress food locks.. but it still goes missing? I guess.. despite that. he’s still a homie, bros before hoes yknow? But if he doesn’t finish his veggie soup again, I am totally kicking him out of MY apartment!!! >:( “PS: Here’s my veggie soup recipe!Matt's veggie soup recipe:
2 stalks of celery
2 cups of chopped green beans (you can add 1 but I love green beans)
6 garlic cloves
2 large carrots
1 1/2 tbsp of salt
1 can of diced tomatoes
2 teaspoons dried oregano, or 2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme or rosemary
1 squash, diced
1 half of a head of cabbage, chopped
1 cup halved cherry tomatoes
1 small sweet potato
4 cups of vegetable broth
2 tbsp of vegetable oil
3 chopped potatoes
1 white onion, diced
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
splash of fish sauce and a hint of soy sauce
a hefty amount of black pepper (season to your liking)Heat the oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add the onion, salt, and several grinds of pepper, and cook, stirring occasionally, for 8 minutes. Add the carrot and sweet potato, stir and cook 2 more minutes.Add the canned tomatoes, garlic, oregano, and red pepper flakes. Stir in the broth and cabbage. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to a simmer and cook, covered, for 20 minutes.Stir in the cherry tomatoes, green beans, squash, potatoes, celery and cover and cook 10 to 15 more minutes, until the green beans are tender.Add a splash of fish sauce and a hint of soy sauce, season as needed and serve!!Jay's note: uhh well... i dont really like it. wellllllllll actually I HATE HTAEV HATE it. HE always adds veggies into it.. and he always adds extra cabbage in iit ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. and those r the worst. so that why i no eat his food. plus anything green and mushy ewww. he make me MADD.. ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`□´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

Jay about Matt: "Matt? Well he’s a little gay… but I think everyone knows that so.. apparently not him though. Anyways he keeps begging me to get a job, so annoying… what he doesn’t know is that I literally have multiple jobs… One of my jobs is to have multiple jobs bruh… also whenever I go to school, he tells me to eat my breakfast, which is just veggie soup.. Bleh… he also packs me lunch… Which I can’t freaking eat it since Miles gives the food to his girls :( Also his house sucks.. whenever I use the toilet, it’s already clogged and broken… So now I have to have to pee and poop in the toilet not to mention he has a pet rat that lives in the walls he feeds… He also steals my girlfriends… mind you he’s gay and I’m not. He needs to be arrested like dude stop stealing my girls… but overall he’s OK. I know he gets food so I like him I guess.Matt’s note: why tf do u use so many …’s ?? Emo boy……

Matt about Sana: “Sana? That poor child has had more moms than I can count, although Jay, Miles and I might be the reason for that.. What can I say, I get pretty bored around here! I always pack her lunch with sandwiches, and for dinner she gets sandwiches, and for dessert she gets.. ice cream! Did you know her favorite ice cream is those crayon scribblers?! Jay is always trying to eat them, he's so BIG! Sana is a good kid, she always does her homework on time, goes to her classes, and just sits there, I guess. She dances and sings too, so that's a plus in my book! I feel sorta bad having her at my place, it's always a mess.. I try my best to make sure her stuff isn't too dirty... She's definitely smarter than Jay, that dude is an idiot! To be fair, that's not a high bar, but she's smarter than a lot of the 8 year old girls out there. We go out kareoke-ing on the weekends, and before 9:30, because Miles doesn't want her out past her bedtime, he's so unnecessarily strict! Sana is awesome, this one time we walked in on some couple in the hospital, man was it funny! I think he was crying over his dead girlfriend or smtn.. What a loser! Anyways, I was totally like, abc for a boy, cuz the huzz was right there, and Sana was jigging it out behind me, and suddenly, this loser dude's eyes turn RED!! He totally starts chasing me and I pick up Sana and we run for it, this guy is schizophrenic as heck, what type of person just does that?!!She likes my cooking, so it's easier to feed her than Jay, maybe I'll make her some veggie soup and sandwiches next time she comes over, don't tell her she's my favorite of the two.."

Sana about Matt: “You’re asking about Matt?.. I don’t know why you came to me for that.. but.. I mean, he’s an asshole, buuttt not that bad for a caretaker. I think he likes to make me sandwiches (a.. good amount), aand I never fail to get everything I want (cough cough). I’m basically living the life while he’s probably cheating on a girl for the nth time. I kinda get it tho.. cs they’re all chopped, but.. then why would you pick ‘em up in the first place..? Like at this point I don’t even know who my real mama is. AND I’d see the same girl with Jay, then Miles, THEN Matt. Back to back, every other hour. I’m convinced unc is gay, too. Can’t do much with that info tho. I dunno what to do with whatever that torture thing with him and Sally was either but.. Ahem!!. I’d say the most he needs is to get his money up, not his.. funny up. Like helloo, he’s stupid and all over the place. He plays too much and is probably the worst employee in the roster. So, would it be surprising if I turn out to be the smartest out of the bunch? (hah!) I mean… overall, if you ask me, he’s alright. Maybe his ranking will move up if he helps me win the election and become the president.He is pretty fun.…Don’t tell ‘em about this gossip tho.”

Matt about Aster: “Aster? That little guy? All he does is stand outside the pizza place, and wave his little sign around, must suck being him, as he has to suffer in the heat and the cold all day.. His little sprout hat reminds me of my vegan sandwiches, seeing him work outside makes me feel bad.. just a little bit. I wanted to share a sandwich with him, but tell me why as I turn to head towards the door, he’s glaring daggers at me, god he’s a little scary. Maybe he doesn’t like sandwiches? More for me I guess.. hehe...""He never talks, at least, around me.. but there was this one time where we had a little uh.. interaction last night.. I was, y’know, grabbing bugs as usual outside the pizza parlor, about to sneak these huge cockroaches into their new home, when suddenly, Aster surprises me from behind! “What’s up?” He says, his voice filled with an undertone of malice. I stuttered, “O-oh hi?!” As I nervously sweat, as we lock eyes, it just got really awkward and he left.. I just kept doing my thing, picking up my bugs.. but god.. he didn’t snitch on me or anything right?!! He’s a little scary, as if he wants to throw hands or something, but we’d all know I’d win the fight. Do you think if I invited him out to boys and girls dance club, he’d wanna come and hang? They have good bloxy cola there, and the appetizer sandwiches aren’t bad- oh wait, doesn’t he hate sandwiches?”

Aster about Matt: “Man this guy– I see him in the restaurant and you know what he mostly does??? HE SLACKS OFF. PERIOD. YEAH PERIOD. All he does is listen to music… K-POP SPECIFICALLY. And you know how loud it gets? I could hear it all away from outside where I STAND proudly, with my pizza sign and my lil tipsy sprouting hat. I DO the hard work, I mean other workers do… just not my level hehehe… EXPECT MATT OF COURSE."
"Actually we had an interaction with each other just last night– while I was throwing away the trash. So, I was doing my task LIKE A REGULAR WORKER and I saw him picking up bugs on the floors? And putting this inside a jar? I asked ‘What’s up?’ with my SEETHING, yet hidden voice. Matt then, like, I don’t know what was up with his tone but it was this quiet tone? It was unusual and out of place, I may say, since he TALKS ALOUD. Anyways, he says ‘O-Oh hi?’ Think he was like that since I caught him in his act. But he still does it anyways- while I was talking with him. Like HUH? Picking off bugs, that’s crazy. Suddenly though, we just had a moment? Like I really don’t know like we both just stare and… I left? Yeah I left him alone and he still was picking off bugs. I mean, not gonna lie he seems like a great friend to talk with and hangout and all… BUT I AIN’T GONNA SLIP THAT? Nonono… he does his job horribly and I WILL see him like that…”

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